There’s more where this came from. (Posted simultaneously to “Jelly-Town!”) Continue reading I could have strangled him, I’m English, though, so I made him coffee and I made him toast
As before, we present the following as a public service. Twenty-eight Ways to Celebrate in the Month of February 1. Celebrate National Freedom Day. 2. Celebrate Hedgehog Day. 3. Celebrate African American Coaches Day. 4. Celebrate Liberace Day. 5. Celebrate Weatherman’s Day. 6. Celebrate Bubble Gum Day. 7. Celebrate Ballet Day. 8. Celebrate Man Day. 9. Celebrate Read in the Bathtub Day. 10. Celebrate Plimsoll Day. 11. Celebrate White Shirt Day. 12. Celebrate Darwin Day. 13. Celebrate Get A Different Name Day. 14. Celebrate Ferris Wheel Day. 15. Celebrate Susan B. Anthony Day. 16. Celebrate Presidents Day. 17. Celebrate My … Continue reading If we holler loud and make our way we’d all live one big holiday
After calling Kraft to voice my considerable dismay with purchasing an entire package of Oreo Fudgees entirely without the promised three fun dunking messages when determining the content of those fun dunking messages was my sole inspiration for the purchase, I was sent a nice letter from the Consumer Relations department. It was a fairly bland offering, sadly including no details of my complaint. I was offered condolences and regrets that the product “did not meet [my] expectations,” but whatever low level drone charged with composing and printing such letters for the affixed signature of the Associate Director had no … Continue reading C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me
When in doubt, there’s always the dog photo option. Continue reading And what you though was a hurricane was just the rustling of the wind
Let’s get this out of the way: I lost again running my twenty year record in the previously discussed Oscar predicting competition to a dismal zero wins, eighteen losses and two ties. Despite the hand-wringing of my previous post, I’m perfectly pleased to play the eternal Erica Kane to the all-the-character-names-of-the-actresses-who-managed-to-best-Susan-Lucci-for-the-daytime-Emmy-over-the-years represented by by old radio show colleague. By my rushed count, he correctly named 23 of the 30 nominees, while I only got 21. There are a lot of different ways to evaluate the difference between us, but the fact that he included the modern Hollywood royalty of Brad … Continue reading Although I laugh and I act like a clown beneath this mask I am wearing a frown
Seventeenth in a series… Continue reading Jesus please meet me at the centre of the earth
Some days I just feel like Drunk Jeff Goldblum. Actually, I feel more like a person who’s trapped in thinking jail. Bless “Videogum” for bringing this to my attention. (Posted simultaneously to “Jelly-Town!”) Continue reading Sober life is a prison, shit-faced is a blessing
And now, perhaps the most ridiculous story I’ve shared in any electronic space. First some background: I, like around 12,000 others, am a yearly participant in the world’s largest trivia contest in the sleepy burg of Stevens Point, Wisconsin. Because … Continue reading I’m not at liberty to say how a secret message came for you today
A few months ago, in an attempt to perform a smaller version of a “clean sweep” of our house (the pragmatic advice of that one Australian guy employed by TLC continuously rings in our ears) we unearthed an old Ziploc filled with mementos. Finally, after toting this around for years, the time has come to get rid of these stray bits. This means another of my many exercises in closure through nostalgia. So, the collected items were dumped into a handy box– –and then the process begun by pulling them out one by one. These are the first five items … Continue reading I just can’t find the time to write my mind the way I want it to read
Coffee for Two 