My Misspent Youth — What If? #29 by Steven Grant, Alan Kupperberg, and Al Gordon

I read a lot of comic books as a kid. This series of posts is about the comics I read, and, occasionally, the comics that I should have read.

When I started reading superhero comics, the publications of Marvel were immediately granted favored stories status in my collection. It would be years before I regularly sampled the wares of the distinguished competition, and I could rattle off all the reasons for the unquestionable validity of my preference. Considering that one of the prime qualities I cited was the clarity of the publishing house’s continuity, unbounded by the dueling versions of the universe that abounded at DC, I operated in quite the contradictory state with my regular purchases of the series What If?

The bimonthly periodical presented alternative versions of vaunted tales from Marvel’s history, speculating on how the heroes’ stories may have proceeded different had Wolverine killed the Hulk in their first encounter, Spider-Man chosen to eschew crimefighting, or Captain America threw his shield into the ring for an United States presidential election. Because of general preference to look back with some distance for stories to revise, usually I hadn’t read the titanic tales that got twisted. On occasion, I didn’t even have the barest familiarity with the vintage comics serving as inspiration.

I was intrigued by the cover to What If? #29, which urgently asked “WHAT IF THE AVENGERS DEFEATED EVERYBODY?” and depicted clearly older versions of the founding Avengers — Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Giant Man, and the Wasp — standing triumphantly in the midst of a mass of fallen fellow superheroes. I didn’t know what story issue creators Steven Grant, Alan Kupperberg, and Al Gordon were riffing on, but I knew if had to be good. Like most boys that age, I craved wild mayhem in my comics.

What If 029-002 (AnPymGold-Empire)

The What If? issue held its funhouse mirror up to Avengers Annual #2, published in 1968, and brought Earth’s mightiest heroes face to face with a towering figure calling himself the Scarlet Centurion. The portentous fellow claimed he came from the future, and he traveled back in time to equip the Avengers with the means to correct a problematic path that would lead to a grim, dystopian outcome. The only way the Avengers could prevent this dire future was by defeating all of the superheroes and supervillians in the world, and allowing Centurion to ensconce them away. It sounds like a basic bad guy deception, but the Avengers sign on for the mission anyway.

What If 029-006 (AnPymGold-Empire)

Eventually, the last being boasting elevated abilities is bested by the Avengers, and, for good measure, the Scarlet Centurion transports Hulk away from the planet as well. All major foes vanished away, the remaining Avengers decide to hang up their respective costumes. It was the ongoing activity of super-power beings, after all, that led to devastation, according to the Scarlet Centurion.

Not long after the do-gooders have settled uneasily into their lives of leisure (or, in the case of Thor just went back to to battling giant ogres and other fiends in his homeland, Asgard), the Scarlet Centurion manifests again, this time demanding the world bow to his despotic rule. There are no superheroes there to stop him, so why not?

What If 029-013 (AnPymGold-Empire)

There are a couple superheroes left, though, so there was a little hitch in that nefarious plan. The mysterious friend who gives notice to Tony Stark that help is on the way is none other than Dr. Donald Blake, the mortal alter ego of the mighty Thor. So that Norse guard factors into the finale, as well. Indeed, the hammer-wielding hero delivers the final blow against the Scarlet Centurion.

What If 029-018 (AnPymGold-Empire)

Thor doesn’t realize it, but that mere man is Rama-Tut, who regularly bedeviled the Avenger in his identity as Kang the Conqueror. Getting much deeper into that slice of Marvel lore would require far more word than I’m currently prepared to tap out.

The Avengers win the battle, but What If? stories generally end on a rueful note. Tony’s enthusiastic expectation that the team will now reunite for good is dashed when his fellow Avengers announce they still want nothing to do with the superhero life, in part because they were so easily duped by the Scarlet Centurion. Tony is left standing alone, lamenting what has passed away.

The story had no resonance for me as an inversion of something I’d read previously, the way it must have for some other purchasers of this issue of What If? But within it was still the grand scale of Marvel’s superhero saga, the sense that everything was connected and could come crashing together at any moment. It thrilled me, even if, in this instance, the cataclysm was outside the canon. Seriously as I took all these colorful pages I flipped through, sometimes I was happily satisfied if the comic was simply fun.

Previous entries in this series (and there are a LOT of them) can be found by clicking on the “My Misspent Youth” tag.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s